I'm a local youp'tee
i was born in a wells fargo bank
i have lots of money and am willing to reinvent myself to fit in with any group
including your group... for a minimal down payment and low monthly tings...
i love you


Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone’s neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh because what is that thing.

Jack Handey (via smutchy)